Posts by Elmo:
Post A Recent or Large Achievement You are Proud of…
October 22nd, 2006And I will find a way to belittle it.
Omnicommie wrote: I transfered to a new school and switched my major to something that will make me money in the real world.
Ok, listen you college dropout. I’m sure everyone’s really impressed that you managed to sever the umbilical cord and strike it out on your own for the first time in your life with nothing but your wits, your guile, and oh… what’s that? Your best friend since fucking forever.
Why not just bring your mom along as well?
And you switched your major to something that’s being outsourced to India more and more you dunderhead.
Mits Wrote: I have a 3.74 GPA. My band played a gig at a local bar and got very positive reviews. I go to Penn State.
That 3.74 is pretty swank. It’s practically actual job experience.
I’m glad your music finally got drunk people to be placid and agree to enjoy something. Normally they are the type to over analyze and scrutinize every little detail.
Oh you go to Penn State? Well, tell the rest of Pennysylvania that I said “hi”.
Omnicommie wrote: I run a small company with one of my best friends that ties in with my study focus in school. Because I’ve played the trumpet for over 10 years, I can read, compose and play sheet music.
Since your company exists solely to compesate for the careless ignorance of your customers I’ve decided to come up with a company based on the same business plan. Me and my friends mug people when they walk into the wrong parts of the city. The company’s name is RecTech.
You’ve mastered an instrument that can only play one note at a time and only other trumpet players really give a shit about. It doesn’t matter how much music you ever learn or write, the public only wants you to play “Taps” and then get the fuck out.
Mits wrote: I have been both an intern and a paid employee for the Philadelphia city government. I have traveled to Europe 4 times. As a student of Penn State, I have the advantage of name recognition when applying for a job. I also have access to the benefits of being a member of the largest alumni association in the world.
You worked for the Philladelphia government? Well, I currently live in Philly and let me speak for all my fellow philadelphians as I say:
Fuck you.
Bragging about working for something as corrupt as the Philadelphian government is like that one kid at recess bragging about drinking that REALLY disgusting mixture of dirt and Pepsi.
Europe? Wow that’s a really long walk.
We are…
We are…
We are…
We are…
Fucking everywhere.
You’re still proud of going to a univeristy that is ALL about Football without any of that pesky althetic achievement to back it up. I could pretty much lie my way into being a Penn State alumni. “Yeah, football! Go Nitny Lions! Ice Creamery!” Bang, instant job.
The Dread Pirate Randle wrote: I recently moved into a two bedroom apartment after working for the summer to come up with rent. I’ve been writing and recording lyrics to songs in my free time, and I’m pretty proud of the results. We’ll be releasing an album in about a month and probably playing a few local shows.
I’m glad you wasted a whole summer of your life in order to lower your standard of living.
I want you to memorize that last paragraph. Put on a beanie. Grab a cappachino in a papercup. Maybe put on a Phish T shirt. Then find a girl, and repeat all you just said to her. I want you to do all this and try not to look like a total douche to her. I will give you 20 bucks for this.
30 if you do it and she gives a response other than “Uh huh” “Oh” or “That’s cool”.
Smiff wrote: I changed majors from Illustration to Drawing.
And how’s that minor in synonyms going?
