Dan Likes Men!

As many of you very well know, I don't have very much to do with my time. Truth be told, I usually spend about half of my day lying in bed (or on the floor, or in my bathtub or in the middle of the road) sleeping.

There is no god.

Maybe it's because I stay up until well past three nearly every morning, or maybe because I only recently got over a severe case of Lyme Disease and there's still deer tick embryos floating around my brain, filling my dreams with horrible post apocalyptic images of the race of man being enslaved by 7 foot tall arachnids brandishing horrible biochemical weapons and making me devour my friends and family.

And so as you probably realize, lately I've been trying to make use of my waking hours before I need to return to the horrible death-like state of sleep. Among the many different things that I have done while awake include sitting, thinking about sleeping, wishing I could go to sleep, and preparing to go to sleep. That is, until yesterday, when I took a small trip down to West Chester's local slice of hell on earth! The good old DMV.

This came up in my google image search for "DMV". I don't know what's going on in this picture, and frankly I don't want to.

Now I don't know how many of you have been to this god-forsaken hellhole, so let me just tell you some things about it. Next to the emergency waiting room and possibly that Disney World they've got in china, it is THE WORST PLACE ONE EARTH.

It's just crawling with illegal immigrants, middle school dropouts, people who look like they should have died of old age in the early 50's, and other unidentifiables. This isn't to mention the people that work there, whom I'm guessing are the most unhappy people since Viking-class slaves.

Upon entering this unholy wasteland, you are to select a number. I had the good luck and fortune to draw good old 132! "Well this won't be too bad," I thought to myself cheerfully, moving out of the way of someone who looked suspiciously like Joseph Stalin. Then I looked up at that bright neon red sign to see that they were now serving number 89. Now you'd think that it wouldn't be THAT bad, right?

After an hour and a half they had just gotten to 100.

Now take that hour and a half, and multiply it by roughly 6 billion years, and that's essentially how long it seemed I had to wait. You see, I was lucky enough to be seated behind my personal favorite thing in the universe, a soccer mom! She began randomly talking to strangers (as soccer moms tend to do) about how proud she was of her 16 year old son that was with her! He was some slack jawed corpse who said his favorite movie was the matrix. Yeah, they started talking about movies at one point. I think they said something about Poltergeist, but it may have been that I had fallen asleep.

And so how did this wonderful tale of mischief and adventure end? With me leaving without a permit because it had gotten too late. I love my life.

This really has nothing to do with the ariticle, but it sure is an adorable picture of Dan and Carly!