Fun with Goths!

Hehe. Oh boy.

Although I don’t like to do this, I’m going to share my personal feelings for a moment. Actually, I love doing it. Come to think of it that’s pretty much the whole point of this site. And if you know me, which you do, a major feeling that I often share is good old fashion hatred. Hatred towards idiots, hatred towards short people, towards celebrities, vegetarians, clowns, ect. However, there is one group that excels above all the others on my list of least favorite types of people. A large group of sub-humans whose mere existence makes me want to focus a narrow beam of violence towards their misshapen faces. I’m talking of course, about Goths. Before I lay down the funny, let me explain a small bit about just why I despise these makeup wearing gargoyles so much.

They just have to let the whole wide world know that they hate it. And everyone is going to know, whether they want to or not. People have no choice but to receive the passive-aggressive pseudo-communication that this appearance broadcasts on all frequencies. The traits that are the most apparent in people who I consider to be the most awful Goths (not awful at being Goth, just awful in general. like stale cheese. or France.) are, one, the ardent belief that they are very special, very smart, and very above everyone not like them, and two, the strong desire to let everyone know. These nasty slimy people have nothing but smart-assed insults for the general public, but it is from that public that they draw their confidence. None of them would ever admit it, but they require the negative reaction they get from people to confirm their feelings about themselves, that they are unique. Without other people there to fucking tell him, the typical Goth has no way to believe that he is special. Because he's not. If you really believe something, then you won't need anyone to confirm it for you.

This came up on my google image search. I don't ask, they don't tell.

So being the stupid jerk that I am, I take every chance I get to openly mock these worthless piles of failure. My latest adventure was a few weeks back when my hetero life partner Dave and I stumbled upon this little gem.

http://www.geocities.com/dark_xxx_desire/about.html

“Okay here is when I tell you I have a past life. Yes, I have a past life. Its really sad, but Im gonna tell it to y'all any wayz. My name is Isabella Dolan, and I have three sisters, Emily(eldest), Isabel(my twin, me being 2 mins older), then Izzy(youngest and fraternal twin of me and Isabel).We lived in Ireland in the 1600's. Having multiple birth was considered evil, or the mother being a practicer of witchcraft. I never knew my father. He left after the triplets, scared of being hung or burned alive.

I’m assuming that by “Ireland” she meant “the Kingdom of no babies” or as it’s more commonly referred to “the land which never existed”.

“Sit in front of the mirror, turn off the lights, and light the candle. set the candle next to the mirror so that the light can hit your face, but you dont see it in the mirror. Then say "oracle of lunar light, send me the second sight". Stare into your eyes and don't blink. Your reflection will dissolve and another will appear. try to look at the face, body, clothing, and surroundings. Afterwards, you'll feel unexplained emotions. They will go away in a few minutes.”

I tried this in my bathroom, but I just ended up lighting my head on fire and passing out in the toilet bowl, then regaining consciousness only to find my pants missing and the initials A.H. written in a sharpie across my forehead.

“No one religion is right, they all are. Why should we only worship a god? Why not a goddess, too? Throughout human history there have ALWAYS been a male and female ruler. The same should go for anything else.”

Yeah, I just remember learning about all those female Roman Caesars. And those female Russian Czars. And those female Egyptian Pharaohs. And those female American Presidents. And those renaissance female Popes.

And finally, I just love how she included “don't judge me on my religion but instead on who I am inside. Not by who or what I worship, but what or who I am.” On the same page as “Dude, in short, all men are dogs!”

And keep in mind, these are just some of the stupider phrases. Nearly every sentence she writes makes little to no sense and is more apt to be heard in the insane ramblings of homeless Vietnam veterans than from a 16 year old white suburban girl. Of course Dave and I would be rather hypocritical if we didn’t make sure to point out some of her more embarrassing passages. However, a few hours after signing her wonderful little guestbook, the e-mails hit.

I was very shocked to see what you wrote in my guestbook (http://www.geocities.com/dark_xxx_desire/) but i dont really care what you think. i will continue to be me and contuine to keep my website up and running. and what i ment by: "female and male rulers' is that there has been a KING and QUEEN. duh! how stupid can you get? i hope that god and goddess takes pity on you for what i am about to do to your pathetic soul. i take my website ver seriously, i do not take kind to negative guestbook entries. oh and cant you read; DONT SIGN MY OLD FUCKING GUESTBOOK!!!

===== (`'•.¸(`'•.¸*Cassandra*¸.•'´)¸.•'´)

I must admit, at this point I was just feeling sorry for her, so my response was less insulting than it could have been.

> I was very shocked to see what you wrote in my guestbook (http://www.geocities.com/dark_xxx_desire/) but i dont really care what you think.

Good, you shouldn't care what I think. I'm just a stupid jackass with an incredibly juvinile sense of humor.

> i will continue to be me and contuine to keep my website up and running.

Good for you, I never said you shouldn't.

>and what i ment by: "female and male rulers'is that there has been a KING and QUEEN. duh! how stupid can you get?

I thought you didn't care what I think. But so by "throughout history there has always been" you meant "every now and then in a few cultures"

>i hope that god and goddess takes pity on you for what i am about to do to your pathetic soul.

Well I’ll be sure to let you know if I feel my soul starts to convulse.

>i take my website ver seriously, i do not take kind to negative guestbook entries.

Pretty much anything that someone takes ver seriously will be criticized at one point or another by someone. The trick is to not let a complete stranger's opinion upset you. Again, I'm just another one of the bastards that you'll be encountering the rest of your life.

>oh and cant you read; DONT SIGN MY OLD FUCKING GUESTBOOK!!!

yeah, sorry about that. my associate dave (keysersoze8285@aol.com) and I stumbled upon the section about you before we found the other one with the link to your new guestbook. I can assure you, as soon as we became aware of our error we moved our comments to your new one (and took the opportunity to fix a rather embarrassing spelling mistake)

In conclusion I would like to invite you to take the time to visit our site on the good old information superhighway.

www.geocities.com/roawen69/home.html

Please feel free to criticize it and point out mistakes as much as you see fit on the message board.

I'm glad we could start our electronic messaging correspondence as soon as this, and I look forward to hearing from you again.

-Emperor Ethan

She’s a persistent little one though, and about twenty minutes after I replied, I received this brand new one.

yea, in my life i have encountered several bastards in my life. and you didnt critized my website, you critized me. did you even bother to check out anything else on my website? you took everything i stood for and everything i am, and made it into one big joke. and my statement stays "men are dogs". why, well your a man (atleast i think) and look what you just did. wow. and human compassion is corrupt. look around you. you see people discrimanting other people (ie: see what you did) yea, i did check out your website, and i found it pointless. so i didnt even bother to look around. i might later. well thanks for the ego booster( one "o" or two? i suck at spelling!) and if you would have actually bother to check the rest of my website, you would find that i am a very fucked up person why doesnt take any ones shit. have a nice fucking day.

===== (`'•.¸(`'•.¸*Cassandra*¸.•'´)¸.•'´)

I didn’t know if I could handle her manipulation of the English language, as she was sure to run circles around me with her amazing sentences such as “yea, in my life I have encountered several bastards in my life.” I didn’t want to let her down though, so again I replied.

> yea, in my life i have encountered several bastards in my life. and you didnt critized my website, you critized me.

Technicaly I criticized your writing. I don't know anything about you, so it'd be tough to criticize.

>did you even bother to check out anything else on my website?

Some of it. I was surprised to learn that you were being nominated for poet of the year. I would have expected that to go to someone along the lines of a more popular writer.

>you took everything i stood for and everything i am, and made it into one big joke.

So all you stand for is that men and women rulers did in fact exist? You may want to expand your life, maybe take up a hobby.

> and my statement stays "men are dogs". why, well your a man (atleast i think)

I am.

>and look what you just did. wow. and human compassion is corrupt. look around you. you see people discrimanting other people (ie: see what you did)

You really might want to check the meaning of words before trying to use them as insults agianst me. To discriminate (which I'm assuming you meant) means to set apart as different. If I did do this to you, I'd assume you would be happy, as it seems that the whole point you're trying to prove is that you are in fact, different.

>yea, i did check out your website, and i found it pointless.

It really is.

>so i didnt even bother to look around. i might later.

Read the archives, particularly the articles written by me. Maybe we could compare writing styles and technique.

>well thanks for the ego booster

What happened to not caring what I think? I miss that.

>( one "o" or two? i suck at spelling!) and if you would have actually bother to check the rest of my website, you would find that i am a very fucked up person why doesnt take any ones shit.

I read on your journal that your father disowned you. how's that going? It's awfully nice of him to let you ya know, stay in his house and use his computer.

>have a nice fucking day.

Thank you. I will do that.

-Emperor Ethan

She did reply, but I felt too bad for her to send anything back, so I’m not even going to bother posting it. I’m sure she’ll be fine though, as immediately deleting our guestbook entries from her guestbook is proof enough of how sure she is of her beliefs.

And that’s all for now. Keep that wonderful feedback I’ve been getting rollin’!